My 1st ever Share our shit Saturday #SoSS

This week I am going to share with you some blogs that I’ve found to be useful as a newbie sex blogger. There’s some fantastic advice and resources out there for mainstream bloggers which can be just as useful but in the sex blogging community we have some amazing people who specnd a lot of time to make our blogging journeys a little bit easier and more fun. 

Some of the bloggers I am going to share about today run weekly ‘memes,’ which usually come with a prompt for those who’d like to join in. I’m sharing those because I have just this week started to join in with some of the memes. I first saw these on Twitter and when I looked into it I came across an old post from a well known sex blogger Cara Sutra. 

Sex blogging memes and resources for sex bloggers:

Cara Sutra

This link will take you to the introduction I had for sex blogging memes, while some of them no longer run as the post is quite old the information is still valuable and her site is amazing. Find out about sex blogging memes here and check out Cara Sutras site.

Click here to see Cara Sutras post on sex blogging memes

or here to see the main Cara Sutra site.

The Smutlancer

The next site I found had a library of information for new and old sex bloggers alike. I spent ages on The Smutlancer site this week after finding it in my search for information on these sex blogging memes. This site is an awesome resource for all niche sex bloggers, I highly reccomend you check it out.

Click here to see The Smutlancers post on sex blogging memes and building an audience.

And Click here for The Smutlancers homepage for a wealth of sex blogging information.

The Smutlancer site was created and is written by sex blogger and kink author Kayla Lords who not only has her own site but she also runs her own sex blogging meme challenge Masturbation Mondays. She must be a very busy woman indeed and she’s a fantastic writer. I look forward to reading more of jer work.

Mollys Daily Kiss

I couldn’t write about sex blogging memes without mentioning Mollys Daily Kiss, who runs several awesome sex blogging memes, including 

Sinful Sunday

Kink of the Week (another one I joined in with this week. You can find my post here)

eLust

And more memes, there’s something for everyone over at Molly’s Daily Kiss.

Rebel Notes

Erotic author Rebel Notes runs another popular sex blogging meme 

Wicked Wednesday where participants are given a theme to write about. I joined in this week and tried my hand at some erotic fiction and I look forward to being involved more in the future. You can read my first submission here

Rebel also runs:

The Menopause Diaries

The Oral Sex Project

And Sexy Searching

She also includes links to memes by others which I encourage you to check out if you’re interested in discovering more sex blogging meme fun.

That’s all from me this week

There is no doubt some I have missed here but this is the start of my journey and these are the blogs I discovered in the last few weeks. If you know of amy other sex blogging memes please contact me or comment below with a link to the site. Check out some of the links, there’s some great work by bloggers on all of them and some of them accept submissions by anyone, not just bloggers. 

Each meme has it’s own rules which usually include linking back to the original meme post so that your readers can see other peoples work, that’s what it’s all about here today, sharing. 

So go forth and explore what else the sex blogging community has to offer by searching for the #SoSS tag on twitter where others have Shared our Shit on Saturdays.

Thanks for reading.

Spitting, Kink of the Week

Kink of the Week: Spitting.

What is kink of the month?

So firstly what is all this about? What is Kink of the Month? If you hadn’t heard of it, it’s a blog “meme” for sex bloggers which gives us a prompt and a platform to share our work with a wider audience. There are quite a few of these memes and I hope to get involved with more of them. At the time of writing, this is my first attempt at joining in with one of these memes and I hope to participate more in future. So every few weeks there is a theme given, bloggers don’t have to stick to the theme but it’s a great starting point and to begin with I will be going with the flow and using the given prompt for each month that I join in. This month’s theme is “spitting.” This isn’t a topic I know much about so this will be a short post today. I really wanted to get involved in KOTW so I decided to post about it despite my limited knowledge.

Spitting

How is spitting a Kink, I hear some of you ask? Well I can’t hear you, and maybe you aren’t asking but I have wondered about it myself.

I considered spitting as a kink, wondering what it is about spitting that turns some people on. For those who get it they probably understand it but for me personally, I’m not into spitting, so I looked into it further. My opinion is that a bit of saliva is normally going to be exchanged during sex or kissing but the act of spitting is different. Spitting on someone or being spat on isn’t something I enjoy doing or watching for that matter. 
I’ve been trying to understand what it is about spitting and it all relates back to sadomasochism. Which is a concept I don’t really know a whole lot about but it involves aspects of both sadism and masochism, which are inherent parts of BDSM. Sadism involved being aroused or enjoying Spitting is not for everyone and not everyone who practices BDSM is into spitting. Just as not is everyone who likes spitting into other BDSM elements. 

Spitting is considered to be an element of Sadomasochism, I am not an expert in the area but I’m learning about it and find it quite interesting. I relate to aspects of sadism and masochism, particularly spanking and rough play. But growing up I learned that spitting on someone, or even towards them was disrespectful, I still seem to carry that belief with me. I was taught, as were many of us in western society that it’s dirty and even disgusting. That’s actually the point for some people, it’s often what turns them on. 

It’s especially enjoyable for those who enjoy humiliation and objectification. 

I read that for some it’s also considered to be a really personal thing, a unique way of showing closeness and that’s what appeals to them. In some circumstances it’s a matter of making do and using spit as lube, seeing this seems to have it has an erotic effect on some people. 

The way the saliva is delivered affects the way it makes me feel, spitting is a rather evocative act. I have been spat on during sex unexpectedly and non-consensually, I didn’t enjoy it, I felt degraded which isn’t normally an enjoyable feeling for me. My reaction was immediate and the spitter got the idea quickly that I wasn’t into it. 

Power and dominance can be felt by the spitter or they can be perceived in that was just as feelings of submission and humiliation even degradation are involved for the person being spat on. For many fans of spitting, this is exactly the point. It’s an effective way to humiliate someone. Sometimes spitting can be mixed in with other forms of humiliation, like making someone suck on shoes or feet. It’s not uncommon in sadomasochism for the dominant to have the submissive lick their feet or shoes or give their stiletto heels oral slobbery sex. There are other ways spitting can be integrated with other fetishes, I won’t list them all here. 

Some of the most common types of spitting I have seen in porn involved spitting on someone during oral sex or while someone is tied like in bondage, even spitting into the other person’s mouth. Some people particularly enjoy sloppy oral sex with lots of spit involved and personally, I don’t mind a bit of that kind of action. It doesn’t have as much of a dominating feel about it if the saliva isn’t delivered by actual spitting, although it can still be considered an act of submission. 

The more I learn about the theories and aspects of BDSM the more I realize that many of the activities I enjoy are considered to be kinks. Most of us have them, if not all of us although some may be undiscovered. Everyone enjoys different things, unique to them. 

It doesn’t make something wrong just because you don’t like or understand it. So long as the participants are consenting it’s ok to enjoy your kinks, including spitting. Safe, sane and consensual are the main rules for BDSM and they are there for people’s safety and to allow people to play out their kinks in such a way that nobody is seriously hurt or affected by the acts. 

Spitting on someone and using saliva during sex are two very different things, in my opinion, it’s all about the way it’s done. I don’t mind being dominated, in fact, I like it but being spat on is not my kink and that’s fine. Just like it’s alright if it’s yours. 

Whisper; Erotic Fiction for my first Wicked Wednesday


Whispers in the Club

The music blared so loud near the speaker, I couldn’t hear what was being said so I kept on dancing, in m own little world. When he first came toward me I felt uneasy, thinking not another sleeze. It’d been ages since I went out to let my hair down. I forgot the last time I’d been intimate it was so long ago. I wasn’t here to meet anyone, I only recently divorced. This was my night out, I was free and I’d decided to have fun.

He was moving closer to me, just a foot or so away, trying to make eye contact. I could smell his cologne, it was nice, he was pretty hot too. Fuck it, I figured and turned to him, moving my body sexily the beat. I gave him the eye, we got close enough to each other we were dancing together. His eyes were a gorgeous shade of blue, his angular jaw was handsome with some sexy stubble. He was striking actually, I wonder if he can see properly, why would he dance with me? I wondered.

I forced a smile up at him and stepped to get in sync with his dancing. I sensed the chemistry immediately. Something about him turned me on. The kind of pull that made me want to tear my clothes off. I didn’t think I still had a sex drive but it seemed the flame was being rekindled. By a stranger, in a nightclub. That’s not my style. I’m a school teacher, a mother, I’m supposed to be responsible and make adult decisions.

In that moment it was subconsciously decided, if I get the chance I’m going to fuck this guys brains out. Oh my god, did I really think that? He was looking at me, I think to myself, he can feel it too, it’s like he knows what I was thinking. He lent in toward me and yelled into my ear so I could hear him over the music, “Can I buy you a drink?” I felt his accent and deep voice reverberate into the core of me. I thought I might faint. Would I? With you anytime, I thought but said, “OK.” Not wanting too desperate. He took my hand and led me through the crowd over to the bar to order us both my favourite drink, bourbon and soda. Booths surrounded the bar, covered with black velvet curtains, some tied back to expose the seats.

I wondered about the possibilities. This isn’t like me, I kept chastising myself. I’m usually shy I would never have sex in a public place, but that’s what I was dreaming of. If I had a chance I let him have me and take my undies home as a souvenir. I can’t believe I’d be serious about this, he was talking when I snapped of my fantasy. “You want to sit there?” he said pointing to a booth. It was much quieter over here.

I remembered my friend left dancing and waved to show her I was alright and we went to find a seat. He sat down near me, his shoulder touching mine. I just about moaned, this guy had me horny with only a few words. I was ready him to take me, he had a smirk was imagining me naked, spread-eagle on his bed, like I was dreaming of now. It must be hormones because my head’s already there.

Then it occurred to me, what if he isn’t into me? The way he was smiling told me he at least was a bit interested, in what who knows? I must’ve been nearly panting because he seemed to be able to tell how bad I wanted him to take me. He turned toward me and bent his head down to my ear, I could feel his warm breath as he whispered “Shall I close the curtain?” Did I imagine the suggestive tone in his voice? I wasn’t sure what to do. Surely he wouldn’t want to do it in here. There was people everywhere. We were in public, I couldn’t actually… could I?

He shut the velvet curtain, grinning and said, “You look great,.” I blushed, “you seem tense, is everything OK?” I glanced down, I could see my shoes they were my sexy high heels. I looked up “sure, I’m fine,” I smiled nervously but genuinely. His eyes glistened with the cheekiest smile. He seemed like he was about to kiss me, “do you mind?” he asked, reaching for me, I didn’t answer I started to kiss him passionately. My body magnetised to him. We kissed passionately my skin tingled with the excitement of possibilities.

Desire overtook me with him so close. He put his hand on the back of my head to pull me closer we were both worked up. Our tongues explored one another’s, he touched my side and slowly  its way up to my breast he paused giving me time to stop. I didn’t, I was ready for this. Both our breathing was heavy, he clearly wanted me as much as I yearned for him. This was it and it felt amazing. He groped my breasts, my nipples stiffened under his fingertips through my thin clothes.

He shifted his touch to my thigh to lift my dress. “Can I have you, here, now?” he whispered again in my ear, it tickled and I shivered loving every minute. I guided his hand under my skirt to take off my underwear. He found the spot and rubbed it, gently at first then increasing the pressure until my hips were lifted, wanting more. Fingers slid into my pussy and  out again, stroking my clit before I tilted my pelvis upward so he entered me again.

I undid his jeans, he stood so I could pull them down to free his hard cock. He passed me a condom, I put it on with my mouth. I sucked it for a moment before he bent me over the seat. He pushed himself inside me easily. I was ready, quivering with anticipation. We were in a rush, not just because someone could walk in, we both wanted it. He thrust in and out, more quickly as his dick got harder. I could feel it throbbing, he was about to cum I struggled to keep quiet moaning softly as the pressure rose to a crescendo. He was banging against me with passion and urgency we were both ready. My legs managed to hold me up, shaking and my thighs clench up, I let myself breathe an go with it and. He grabbed my hips and pushed into me with a few groans, I felt him cum as his body jolted.

We were both breathless. I didn’t even know this guy and couldn’t believe what I just did with him or how exciting it was. I straightened my clothes and put my panties back on to finish my drink, my body still quivering I sat down to compose myself. He still had that cheeky grin as he asked my name.




wicked wednesday photo

Note on My First Wicked Wednesday Post

This is my first submission for Wicked Wednesday, a concept I came across ran by Rebel Notes Wicked Wednesday Blog where a prompt is given and either written posts or photographic pieces are linked back to Wicked Wednesday blog via the photo meme above where the other entries will also be posted.

I haven’t written much erotic fiction and I haven’t let anyone see my pretty lame attempts at it, other than my partner. So this is big for me, I’m nervous about sharing this. It’s probably the most explicit thing I’ve written here so far but that’s the idea. It’s also part of my goal to get more involved with the wider blogging community and to try out different writing styles. So here goes, I hope you enjoy.

Site Changes Underway

The new look site is underway. I am not very computer literate but I have taken some steps to upgrade the site, over the next few weeks I will be working on the appearance of the site to revamp the site. If there is any further interruptions during this time I sincerely apologise. I had some issues with changing to a self hosted site but hopefully the problems are now fixed and it will be worth it in the long run.
With the new changes you should now be able to create an account and join the community at RisqueViews. I am hoping to provide forums for members to have discussions and share information or ask questions, that will be something that I will have to work on but the option is now there.

I am also adding the option of donations to help me maintain these changes, bring you even more improvements and most importantly allow me to get back to writing.

It’s been a learning curve for me working on these changes and I’m hoping it’s the start of many more improvements across the site. My boyfriend has been missing me so I am going to try to get the site up again today so you can access it at least while I continue to work behind the scenes.

Please subscribe to stay up to date with more changes happening in the future and to keep in touch with us here at RisqueViews.




Site Maintinence

There may be some temporary interruption to the site while changes are taking place. I am moving to a self hosted site to give me more freedom and enable me to offer you more quality content and a better site. Building the new site may take some time so please bear with me during the process.

Safe Sex; Prevention and Getting Tested

This post began when writing another one about being sex positive, it won’t go into detail about all the risks it’s just a friendly reminder about safe sex practices and the importance of them. It’s such an important topic that I thought it deserved a post of its own. 

There is many contraception techniques available but to this point there is only one really effective way to prevent most STI’s besides being chaste. Condoms (preferably used with lubricant,) are still the best way to prevent contracting a Sexually transmitted infection besides abstaining from sex all together.

There is quite a few infections and diseases that still run rampant where they are allowed to and young people are particularly at risk according to statistics. Other sub cultures may be more at risk due to certain practices but where possible, I believe the harm should always be minimized. Safe, sane and consensual are the basic guidelines for those who practice BDSM and this should be the case across the board. 

It bothers me that some people will try to avoid wearing condoms. Maybe they aren’t aware of the risks which is why education is so important. People say they don’t like to wear condoms for different reasons which is a worry. The discomfort of using a condom should be minimal if there is any at all, there shouldn’t be if it’s the correct size and put on properly. There is so many types of condoms available including super thin ones so your sensation isn’t dulled too much by wearing one. Despite popular belief condoms aren’t a one size fits all, you may need to buy a different size to regular for it to fit properly and be comfortable. I think the mild amount of apparent discomfort is a small price to pay compared to the potential pain catching an STI can cause.

There really is no excuse for not wearing a condom, especially with someone you only just met or began having sex with. Go with that old saying, “if it’s not on it’s not on.” Seriously. If you had seen some of the pictures I have seen of STI symptoms you would absolutely agree with me and I’m sure if you have had the unpleasant experience of catching an STI you would also agree and it is more common than people tend to think for someone to catch something from having sex especially unprotected sex. 

As for getting tested many people are afraid to go or worried it will be painful. The tests are generally pretty straight forward and take only a short amount of time so any discomfort will be over quickly and when compared to the discomfort and pain of actually having a STI, you will wish you got tested. Most tests can be done with a simple swab or urine sample but some require a blood test. If you get tested and something comes back abnormal your doctor should be able to guide you or you can locate your local sexual health or family planning centre for expert advice. I recommend getting tested at one of these specialist facilities which in many places are funded so they won’t cost too much and you get to deal with people who know what they are doing as they deal with sexual health issues daily. Now days many STI’s have treatments which are readily available and easy to access in many parts of the world. Some like chlamydia require a single dose of antibiotics. Other problems can be more difficult to treat which is why prevention is really better than cure. There is unfortunately still some viruses and diseases for which there is no real cure but there is treatment to help manage symptoms and improve quality of life. 

 Some of the STI’S that are most common include Chlamydia, which is really common and can’t always be detected without a test due to the fact some people show no symptoms. Syphilis is still a risk in today’s modern age as is Gonorrhea. Herpes and Warts are some of the more common STI’s and the virus stays in your body forever even after the flare up of symptoms has been treated you can still pass it on through aviral shedding. HIV and Hepatitis are also still around and without a condom you are putting yourself at risk of contracting any of these illnesses or infections. Condoms provide a barrier which gives you the best protection against that risk if you decide you want to have sex, which many of us do. Wearing condoms and getting regular tests especially after any contact that had a potential for transmission like unsafe sex or a broken condom are the best defence. They aren’t completely fool-proof but if condoms are used properly the risk is minimized greatly. Some skin to skin infections can get around condoms so it’s also a good idea to have a look down there and keep an eye out for anything unusual.

STI’s and other sexually transmitted diseases and bugs do not discriminate. They will infect a person who comes into contact with them at the first chance they get, that is how they survive by infecting their host, which in this case is us humans. They don’t look at a potential host and say ‘No, she’s too pretty for me to infect her.’ Or ‘Nah he has such a good job and he’s on the footy team let’s not infect him,’ they don’t think so all they are programmed to do is to survive and to reproduce by infecting new hosts. That is the case for viruses and bacteria as well as insects and microorganisms, most sexually transmitted infections in fact. Some affect our genitals but aren’t transmitted as such these can still cause problems. 

The topic of STI’S for me can cross over into a consent issue because often people aren’t forthcoming and honest about their sexual health status. In order to make an informed choice about whether you consent or not, you need know if your sexual partner or potential one, has an infection or disease. If you aren’t 100% sure then practice safe sex until you are which will require a visit to the doctor. You can not tell if someone has something just by looking at them or what your assumption is. Assuming is a dangerous game, especially when it comes to your sexual health. 

The best way to avoid dealing with these issues is to only practice safe sex and if you do have a slip up or a condom breaks then visit the doctor. It won’t take long to get checked out and chances are if you have caught something then getting on to it early will increase your chances of being able to treat it effectively and to treat most problems you do need a doctor. 

I don’t want to rave on about it because it’s quite simple really. Use protection. See the doctor. Or you could risk catching one of many infections or diseases then spreading them to everyone you have sex with just because you don’t like condoms or doctors. Or you could avoid having sex all together. I know what option I’d choose.

Remember: Safe sex is good sex.

Magic Touch Rapture Personal Massage Review

IMAG1096_1.jpg

Magic Touch Rapture

Awhile ago I purchased a Magic Touch Rapture so I figured I’d do a review here. It’s a great toy for under $50AUD. It’s a rechargeable personal vibrating personal massager which can be used on all parts of the body externally, including for sexual stimulation for both men and women.

It’s a great option for those looking to buy a toy on a budget that can be used easily by couples. They come in two colours, pink and purple (both favourites of mine,) my Rapture is a beautiful bright purple which I love, I don’t feel like it has to be hidden away like some other toys.

One thing I really like about it other than the cool colours is the shape, which is a perfect fit for the pelvic are either to massage the clitoris or the perineum or all around that area, it can be used for penetration either vaginal or anal if you want to use it like that. The look of it doesn’t automatically make one think that it’s a sex toy which can be great if you have kids that want to snoop around your bedroom.

Vibration wise its not super strong but strong enough you can even get stimulation through your underwear or clothes which is great, it’s not super jet powered but it is about what you’d expect for the size and price. The shape of it fits perfectly in the palm of your hand for easy use and manoeuvrability. There is 7 different modes settings which change the level of vibration and the rhythm.

I am a big fan of rechargeable toys as anyone who reads my blog will know, so that’s another bonus for this massager. Given the intensity of it, the battery life lasts quite awhile. At least up to several hours. Long enough for most people to reach climax although if you’re like me and it can take days you’d want to make sure you have it charged and ready for use by plugging it in after each use.

Being made from body safe material is important, the Rapture is made of medical grade silicone. It’s perfect for couples as well as solo play. It’s really rather quiet too which is always a bonus for me, I haven’t yet tested the noise levels but in a normal house it’s unlikely anyone in another room would be able to hear it and if they could and do come in it looks like a massager so you don’t have to feel embarrassed about it, you can say you were giving your shoulders a rub.

Magic Touch is quickly becoming a favourite brand of mine for innovative cost-effective toys that anyone can afford. I found this toy fun to play with and a bit of a novelty. I especially like using it with my partner during sex as it fits perfectly between us without getting in the way too much.

I wasn’t able to climax with the toy alone but I am extremely difficult to please and find it really hard to have an orgasm. It did help make sex more enjoyable which for me is about all I usually expect, i a toy can make me cum that makes it really special. Most people I’d imagine would find the vibration from this toy strong enough.

Features
Pros

  • Cost, cheap
  • Colors are great
  • Rechargeable
  • Made from body safe silicone
  • Waterproof
  • Relatively quiet
  • Shaped inconspicuously
  • 7 modes
  • Shape again because it fits so well around the pelvic region and down to the perineum.

Cons

  • Vibration is strong but not overly intense
  • I’m not sure how long the lifespan of the product would be I have had it for 6 months and it’s still going strong
  • Won’t suit everyone for penetration

Facing Our Demons: Living with Mental Illness

This is quite a long post and very personal. It was originally written last week and I hadn’t posted it yet because I have been dealing with the ongoing issues discussed within. Mental illness affects many of us to varying degrees. At times I find it can be paralyzing and it can interfere with me living my life as I want and can prevent me from experiencing enjoyment at times. Other times it motivates me to try and push myself further, to try and do better or better. 

Here I have documented what I was feeling like when I first wrote the post which didn’t get published from then until now you will see that all of the above has happened. I missed out on experiences but in the end I am trying to push past it so I can get through it and achieve what I set out to do originally, write this blog. I anticipated that my mental illness would somehow affect me writing this blog however I hadn’t expected it to quite so much as it has.

 The writing in bold or italics is my updated parts I’ve since added, the writing not in bold was a draft which I wrote over a week ago and meant to post it the entire time.

 It shows some insight into how mental illness can affect me and many others who suffer depression, anxiety and other mental illness. I wasn’t going to post but I think it’s important that I at least share that I do live with mental illness and it affects me sometimes quite severely. I know many other people struggle with their mental health to varying degrees and I thought posting this now may not only help me and give you more insight into who I am but it may help someone else out there to not feel so alone. So here goes…

I live with a mental illness, mostly I am affected by anxiety and depression, which can be at times crippling. When I get anxious about something one way I sometimes deal with it is to avoid it all together which is counterproductive at best. This is something I’m working on but it’s a gradual and continual process. 

When I started getting anxiety about writing my blog I straight away flipped into avoidance mode which I swore I wouldn’t do. Today (now last week,) I forced myself to finish writing and post a review I had mostly written. It wasn’t an overly difficult post, in fact it was quite easy to write. It was the posting that got my anxiety all worked up. I am not entirely sure why and that’s the thing about anxiety is that it cab totally defy logic, but I think in this case the fact that I have had a few readers and followers git me a bit nervous and panicked almost about what they (you,) might think of my posts and of me. I want my readers, you guys to be able to enjoy reading posts here and I’d love you to be able to relate to some things or at least understand what it is I’m trying to say when I write here. 

It made me realize that I now have some insecurities, which isn’t entirely bad if I can keep on pushing myself to write. It just means I want to write as well as I can about interesting topics. I realized that it means I actually want you guys to like this blog and to enjoy it or learn from it, relate to it as I said before. Ideally I’d love for you to want to come back for more next time I write something that interests you. In the long run I’d like to form a connection with you as you read this and get to know me, I hope that some of you will engage and comment or contact me so I can get to know you too. I feel like that’s a really strange thing to admit to because pleasing people wasn’t my first concern nor reason for starting this blog but it has become a source of stress to me lately at times.

I don’t want to post crap but at the same time by avoiding that I am not posting anything and I’m not sure what’s worse. At least by posting I am writing and developing my own style which is a good thing, so I’ll push on. 

By continuing to make myself write I think I will get there. Alternatively if I just ignore it because of my anxiety that would mean the end of something I really enjoy doing and want to continue. Anxiety and depression can affect many areas of life in this way not just blog posting it can be just about anything and by putting our heads in the sand and hoping it will go away we often make the problem worse. Facing it can be uncomfortable but also very rewarding. 

I welcome comments on all of my posts, I encourage people to be supportive with what they say but acknowledge that everyone has the right to their own opinion.

So I am writing this post to get me writing and to give you all an insight into some of the things I struggle with. I intend on posting it tomorrow after I post the good news about the vote on Australian same-sex marriage laws being announced yesterday. (Last week now) 

Even that post which I felt was positive and was my way of congratulating all the people who fought so hard to have the laws changed caused me some amount of anxiety when posting. This is the problem with anxiety it often has no real or logical reason to be, it just is. When you suffer anxiety it is all consuming. Those people who’ve dealt with and overcome unthinkable adversity ought to be congratulated. Overall I am really happy about the outcome of the plebiscite although a bit saddened that it had to come to that and that the laws weren’t passed without the need for an expensive postal vote. 

The fact that putting up such a simple post has caused me anxiety caused me more anxiety. This is the cycle of anxiety and depression and other mental illnesses. They cause more discomfort just by existing. 

By pressing publish now I am facing up to my fear and hopefully it will help me to overcome some of my blogging anxiety. I suspect it will be something I will have to deal with in the future but I’ll take it one step at a time. I would love to say I will post everyday but with other commitments as well as my mental illness that probably won’t be possible. 

For now I am setting myself a goal to post at least once or twice a week and any more than that will be a bonus for me (and hopefully you.) If I can I will schedule posts when I have written more than one, like today. 

In many ways blogging (and writing,) helps me to deal with my anxiety and depression and there’s a great deal of other bloggers out there who openly post about their struggles. This helps me to know that I am not alone and other people experience the same or similar feelings as I do and some of them have overcome much bigger obstacles. We all have our own struggles in life, some face more hardships than others and sometimes the immensity of one person’s troubles are bigger than someone else’s but it’s all relative. Writing a journal is another tool which can help some people deal with stress it’s a more private method than blogging too. 

I hope someone out there reads this and knows they aren’t suffering alone. If you are struggling you can often relate to someone else who is struggling. 

Reading other people’s posts about mental illness has helped me on a number of levels and made me feel like its OK for me to post honestly about my own issues. If I can speak out openly about them then it shows another layer of the real me and who I truly am which I think is important as a blogger, to be authentic even if it is anonymously, your blog should be a place where you can be yourself, or I guess some people choose a persona to go along with their blog. I find it hard enough to be myself let alone trying to be someone else so I’ll stick with doing me, albeit with a pseudonym for now.

I genuinely hope that being myself will help me in the long run, connect to others just like me or people totally different to myself who just like to understand our differences and the uniqueness that each of us as individuals have. 

I might not be the prettiest, youngest, skinniest or anything-ist to make me the right person to be blogging about sex and life but I am me and I have an interest in sex, life, love and all that goes with it. I have a little bit of knowledge and a passion to gain more so I think those attributes are enough for me to be a blogger in my chosen niche. My past experiences in relationships and the sex industry give me some insight into human nature and sexuality but my passion to share information to help people and make the world a better, safer place are probably the things that will help me succeed in what I am doing here. Success is also relative, who is judging my success? The answer is probably myself, how will I gauge how successful I am or aren’t? Probably by my ability to stick at it through times like these when I get anxious about posting. Or times when I don’t really feel like writing anything but I push myself to do it. If I am still writing this blog in 6 months to a year from now I will feel like a success in some regard. If during that time I manage to connect with others and continue to show little pieces of the authentic me then I will have succeeded in one of my goals. If in addition to those things I manage to help someone, or teach someone something, then I really have succeeded in accomplishing my main goals. That will be something I can feel proud of. So in order to have any chance at any level of success I must first try which means pushing through the anxiety and ‘can’t be fucked,’ days and just doing it. Like I am now.

I apologise for rambling on a bit there but I have managed to accomplish one more goal I set for myself which was to write an entire post from beginning to end. I have almost done that now and I will be posting this tomorrow. Tomorrow is an exciting day for me, Sexpo a sex and lifestyle Expo is on and I’m going tomorrow. I hope to get more material to work with in the way of subject matter and who knows what else? I hope to be able to afford to buy some goodies to review and I might be lucky enough to connect with some manufacturers while I’m there who might want me to review something for them. That would be the ultimate.

This post was written a few weeks ago and due to the depression I was suffering from I hadn’t yet posted it, I missed going to Sexpo which I am still disappointed about but I am hoping to get back on track and hopefully by next year I’ll have a few more new blogging friends to meet up with. I hope those who I missed this year understand now why I didn’t make it. I also note that the thing which was plaguing me was pressing the publish button which I hadn’t yet done so to combat that I am going to schedule this post and one other, a review I’ve written so they will both be posted by tomorrow even though they are vastly different  in subject matter they’re both important to me in their own ways. I hope once this is posted it can act as a kind of cathartic cleansing and allow me to get back on track and write more interesting, fun, sexy stuff for y’all. 

If you made it to the end of that post I want to say thank you, it was one of the longest I’ve written to date and not really the type of post I enjoy sharing but I feel like I should. So now I am going to publish this before I put it off any longer. I hope that you find the courage to face up to anything that’s currently holding you back too no matter how big or small when we face our demons we succeed and should celebrate our small victories. 

Review Fun Cups Explorer Kit

Fun Factory Menstrual Cups; Fun Cups Explorer Kit

Fun Factory have just released a new product that will be soon available in Australia. As you’d expect from fun factory their new range is made of excellent quality materials that are safe for your body. Unlike their usual range of products though this one isn’t vibrating, it’s a good looking range of menstrual cups designed to not only look good, but to also fit perfectly down there. As the name implies these silicone cups enable you to have fun times when it’s that time of the month with no mess. They are a great alternative to pads and tampons, not only for you but for the environment as well.

I know the idea of menstrual cups freak some people out and admittedly they may not suit everyone for every situation but I for one am glad I took the plunge and gave them a go because I was pleasantly surprised at how well and effectively they worked for me. Read on for my experience with Fun Factory Fun Cups explorer kit or have a look at my other menstrual cup review here.

Size and colors

The cups come in two sizes and a range of bold vibrant colours. The Explorer kit allows you to try out both of the sizes to get the perfect fit for your body or to allow you to use different sizes for different times of your period, the smaller one for when your flow is less and the B cup for when it’s heavier. They come packaged in a well designed, which is very pleasing to the eye. Included in the pack is a handy carry case so you can hygienically store your fun cups between use or keep a spare in your car or bag. There is also some well designed information booklets about the product and how to use them. I strongly recommend you read the instructions before use as they have some important information.

I have tried the A cup and had no issues at all with leakage and insertion was easy, it seemed to fit me much better than other menstrual cups I’ve tried. I use water based lubricant where possible to make putting it in easier.

Using your Fun Cup

The cup stays in place with suction and does so really well.  Taking it out was the only part where I found an issue because there is no string like “tail,” to grip on to, I found removing it the most difficult part of the entire process, especially for the first time. To get it out you have to release the suction by squeezing it or if you can reach pressing your finger in around the rim until the seal breaks, I found getting to it to be a bit of a challenge but it’s nothing you can’t get used to with a bit of practice. When the seal breaks as well as when you put the cup into place you will probably hear a slurping type of pop sound which is a tad unusual in the beginning but this is normal and will help you to know when the cup is in place and when its ready to come out. For me bearing down helped to get it down more within reach which made getting a grip much easier along with some breathing and relaxation which were much needed for the first few times particularly.

Fun Factory suggest that it can take approximately two periods to get used to using the fun cup and I think they’re probably right. It doesn’t come naturally if you haven’t used them often or at all in the past. There is many benefits to using menstrual cups if you can get used to them. The benefits extend past being a money saver and good for the environment but it’s said that they are actually better for your health and have less of an impact on you than what tampons do with no risk of TSS (Toxic Shock Syndrome,) and the silicone material fun cups are made with won’t affect your body’s PH as tampons can.

Fun Cups are designed to give you more freedom to do what you would normally do even when you have your period. The information in the pack says full penetration isn’t recommended but suggests other activities such as oral and light or shallow penetration as being some of the things you can do while wearing the fun cup. Swimming is also safe to do with the fun cup and they allow you the freedom to not have to worry about restricting your clothing choice if that was something you were ever worried about when using pads or tampons. Without the string nobody will ever know it’s there.

Changing the Fun Cup and cleaning

Fun Cups needs to be changed at least every 12 hours but if you can change it more regularly that’s even better I would say if you can change it every 4-6 hours like a tampon that would be ideal but everyone is different and the whole idea of the fun cup is to give us some flexibility when we most need it. When changing your Fun Cup give it a wash with warm soapy water before inserting again. In between periods you can store it in the cute little carry case that comes in the packet. You can also sterilize your Fun Cups by boiling them for 3 minutes. I think it’s a good idea to give them a good boil every now and then to keep them hygienic and give them a longer life span.

I personally use some of my sex toy cleaner in between uses for a quick clean I just let it sit for about a minute then wash off with soapy water and rinse thoroughly before inserting again.

My thoughts on the Fun Cup Explorer Kit

I really love the freedom that menstrual cups offer and there is some features of the fun cups that I just love, not to mention they are made by Fun Factory which is one of my favourite brands. I love that the explorer kit contains 2 sizes allowing you to try out which size is best for you and even personalising the sizes to suit your needs and stages of your period, for example by using the larger cup when your flow is  heavy and the smaller one for when it is lighter. You might find one cup suits you best and that’s what makes the kit so great because it saves you buying the wrong size then thinking that Menstrual cups don’t suit you because you’ve used the wrong size.

Another thing I love about the Fun Cup is the colour and design they look really cool with their bright colours and stylishly designed shape. They not only help make that time of the month more fun but they actually look fun! Not to mention the freedom that comes from the Fun Cup which allows you to be yourself no matter what time of month it is. Then, the best thing about fun Factory Fun Cups is that they are great for the environment, with less waste product going into landfill and not only that after a few months you’ve saved your money so they become cheaper to use, so they’re more economical which to me is brilliant and well worth the change over.

  • As a side note the reason i love the Fun Factory brand so much is one of my all time favourite vibrators, which gave me a good 4 or 5 years of pretty hard core use was made by the fun factory. I’m pretty sure it as an Amorino before the rubber band came out, it looked very similar. I would have loved to do a review on it but trust me when I say they make high quality products that can be relied on for satisfaction. Hopefully one day I will be asked to review some of their other fun products for you.

For now I am rapt that the Fun Cups are out on the market and will soon be released in Australia. Until then if you are keen to try them you can purchase them online.

The Day Love Won in Australia

Yesterday the results of a nation wide vote for Same sex marriage came in and the result was that the majority of participants who voted in the plebiscite believe that YES, gay people should be allowed to be married. Over 70% votes yes in the same sex marriage vote which clearly rules people who want to marry the love of their life, can now even if they are of the same sex. 

I don’t claim to be an expert in the field but I do care about the outcome for personal reasons. Seeing what my step-sister has had to endure is saddening. She and her wife went overseas to Canada when they first got married so they could legally do so. Even if the country they were married in wasn’t their own, they wanted their marriage recognized as any committed married couple would but that’s how committed they were to each other and to getting married. I admire that about them and their relationship and always felt it was unfair that they couldn’t get legally married in their home country of Australia. They are married happily ten or so years down the track and now have 2 beautiful children. Thanks to the new laws my nephew and niece will grow up with married parents who most importantly, will be accepted by society. For those and many other reasons I am glad their marriage can now be upheld in our country. 

I am only saddened by the discussion about other amendments to the marriage bill that threaten to take away from the main victory here. There is laws that have been changed in relation to discrimination along with the marriage laws. And it seems that the religious right wing has themselves had a win in that they can decide to withhold services to a gay couple if it goes against their religious beliefs or if they don’t agree with the LGBTI lifestyles in general. I hope that common sense will prevail and these acts won’t be amended to allow for blatant discrimination, but only to allow for same-sex marriage to be legalized. As it should be for loving, committed couples who have likely had to live with such discrimination their entire lives. Many have had to endure other terrible adversity and judgement or bullying and even violence in a community that, until now hasn’t fully accepted them or acknowledged them for who they are in a respectful and dignified manner. Hopefully this will now change and the stigma can be dropped allowing many people to finally feel accepted and comfortable being themselves. It’s sad we had to have the vote to begin with, the answer seemed simple to me but obviously some were not in agreement. 

Now the vote is in it will be a short wait for the same sex marriage laws to be put in place. It was reported that it should happen by Christmas time, possibly on Christmas Eve. 

The news is great for many Australians who are in same sex relationships and the people who, like myself, support them. Congratulations to those who voted Yes and especially to those who this change will affect directly. Yesterday was the day that love won in Australia.