Kink of the Week: Spitting.
What is kink of the month?
So firstly what is all this about? What is Kink of the Month? If you hadn’t heard of it, it’s a blog “meme” for sex bloggers which gives us a prompt and a platform to share our work with a wider audience. There are quite a few of these memes and I hope to get involved with more of them. At the time of writing, this is my first attempt at joining in with one of these memes and I hope to participate more in future. So every few weeks there is a theme given, bloggers don’t have to stick to the theme but it’s a great starting point and to begin with I will be going with the flow and using the given prompt for each month that I join in. This month’s theme is “spitting.” This isn’t a topic I know much about so this will be a short post today. I really wanted to get involved in KOTW so I decided to post about it despite my limited knowledge.
How is spitting a Kink, I hear some of you ask? Well I can’t hear you, and maybe you aren’t asking but I have wondered about it myself.
I considered spitting as a kink, wondering what it is about spitting that turns some people on. For those who get it they probably understand it but for me personally, I’m not into spitting, so I looked into it further. My opinion is that a bit of saliva is normally going to be exchanged during sex or kissing but the act of spitting is different. Spitting on someone or being spat on isn’t something I enjoy doing or watching for that matter.
I’ve been trying to understand what it is about spitting and it all relates back to sadomasochism. Which is a concept I don’t really know a whole lot about but it involves aspects of both sadism and masochism, which are inherent parts of BDSM. Sadism involved being aroused or enjoying Spitting is not for everyone and not everyone who practices BDSM is into spitting. Just as not is everyone who likes spitting into other BDSM elements.
Spitting is considered to be an element of Sadomasochism, I am not an expert in the area but I’m learning about it and find it quite interesting. I relate to aspects of sadism and masochism, particularly spanking and rough play. But growing up I learned that spitting on someone, or even towards them was disrespectful, I still seem to carry that belief with me. I was taught, as were many of us in western society that it’s dirty and even disgusting. That’s actually the point for some people, it’s often what turns them on.
It’s especially enjoyable for those who enjoy humiliation and objectification.
I read that for some it’s also considered to be a really personal thing, a unique way of showing closeness and that’s what appeals to them. In some circumstances it’s a matter of making do and using spit as lube, seeing this seems to have it has an erotic effect on some people.
The way the saliva is delivered affects the way it makes me feel, spitting is a rather evocative act. I have been spat on during sex unexpectedly and non-consensually, I didn’t enjoy it, I felt degraded which isn’t normally an enjoyable feeling for me. My reaction was immediate and the spitter got the idea quickly that I wasn’t into it.
Power and dominance can be felt by the spitter or they can be perceived in that was just as feelings of submission and humiliation even degradation are involved for the person being spat on. For many fans of spitting, this is exactly the point. It’s an effective way to humiliate someone. Sometimes spitting can be mixed in with other forms of humiliation, like making someone suck on shoes or feet. It’s not uncommon in sadomasochism for the dominant to have the submissive lick their feet or shoes or give their stiletto heels oral slobbery sex. There are other ways spitting can be integrated with other fetishes, I won’t list them all here.
Some of the most common types of spitting I have seen in porn involved spitting on someone during oral sex or while someone is tied like in bondage, even spitting into the other person’s mouth. Some people particularly enjoy sloppy oral sex with lots of spit involved and personally, I don’t mind a bit of that kind of action. It doesn’t have as much of a dominating feel about it if the saliva isn’t delivered by actual spitting, although it can still be considered an act of submission.
The more I learn about the theories and aspects of BDSM the more I realize that many of the activities I enjoy are considered to be kinks. Most of us have them, if not all of us although some may be undiscovered. Everyone enjoys different things, unique to them.
It doesn’t make something wrong just because you don’t like or understand it. So long as the participants are consenting it’s ok to enjoy your kinks, including spitting. Safe, sane and consensual are the main rules for BDSM and they are there for people’s safety and to allow people to play out their kinks in such a way that nobody is seriously hurt or affected by the acts.
Spitting on someone and using saliva during sex are two very different things, in my opinion, it’s all about the way it’s done. I don’t mind being dominated, in fact, I like it but being spat on is not my kink and that’s fine. Just like it’s alright if it’s yours.